Hello, and welcome to punchlined, the writing journal of msmoocow. For safety reasons, keep all arms, legs, and eyes inside the journal at all times until the writing has come to a full and complete stop. While it may not be the biggest or most entertaining ride in the park, I do hope you enjoy your stay. Exits are above and to the left, and may be accessed as needed. The lovely renovation should be credited to refuted. Please feel free to leave comments and suggestions for improvement--this journal does go through routine maintenance. Have a nice day!

Well, enough content has been gathered, so here is an easily accessible masterlist for the clicking-impaired.

( Look at me! I'm a masterlist! )

Title: Summer Roses
Rating: G
Word count: 3,995
Characters: Neville Longbottom, Augusta Longbottom, OFC
Summary: "Surprising things can happen to any one who, when a disagreeable or discouraged thought comes into his mind, just has the sense to remember in time and push it out by putting in an agreeable determinedly courageous one. Two things cannot be in one place.

Where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow."
Warnings: OC point of view
Notes: Originally written for hp_summergen, but didn't make it in time. Sigh. Title, summary, and a great deal of inspiration all come from The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. shiiki, I tried to fit in your request for pre-Hogwarts education, but as I've no clue how the British school system works, that didn't quite pan out. I took a bit of liberty with the prompt. :) And much love to attilatehbun and queenb23more for looking it over, correcting my horrendous comma use/abuse, and assuring me that it didn't suck.

( Summer Roses )

Here lies the official list of stories I've betaed. You know, so I can build up some cred. I've been betaing unofficially for some very awesome friends, and was recently appointed Quidditch Assistant at The Quidditch Pitch. The list will grow soon, I hope. :)

( Yay, grammar! )


If you'd like me to beta for you, leave a comment or email me at msmoocow @ thequidditchpitch . org. My beta style is mostly tweaking things like phrasing and repetition, with some characterization and cliche catching.

Title: Unsolicited Advice
Rating: PG-13Ron/Pansy (but more Ron/Hermione)
Word count: 699
Pairing: Ron/Pansy
Summary:

'Viktor always said -'

Ron looked round at her so fast he appeared to crick his neck. Rubbing it, he said, 'Yeah? What did Vicky say?'

'Ho ho,' said Hermione in a bored voice. 'He said Harry knew how to do stuff even he didn't, and he was in the final year at Durmstrang.'

Ron was looking at Hermione suspiciously.

'You're not still in contact with him, are you?'

'So what if I am?' said Hermione coolly, though her face was a little pink. 'I can have a pen-pal if I -'

'He didn't only want to be your pen-pal,' said Ron accusingly.

The day after this exchange, Ron does some thinking. Someone helps.

Warnings: Um...fifteen-year-old slags?
Author's notes: From kerosinkanister to queenb23more for the teenyfic meme. Prompt was Ron/Pansy, open-ended plot and rating. Sorry I couldn't detach myself from my OTP. :(

( Unsolicited Advice )

7spells HP Fanfiction Challenge Author: msmoocow Character/Pairing: Ron/Hermione

1. at the very ports they blow

2. the blind leading the blind

3. artificial light

4. if you wanted honesty

5. sing the blues

6. the only adventure

7. effect of impact on stationary objects

Progress: 1/7

I WILL finish these by the end of the summer, so help me Jesus.

ETA 24th May: Uh, probably should have mentioned that this was my very first piece of HP fic, ever. So, erm...be nice?

Posted here first. 1 out of 7.

Title: A Muggle Affliction
Character(s): Ron/Hermione
Prompt: at the very ports they blow
Rating: G, or PG for romantic angstiness
Word Count: 444
Summary: Ron has an eye-opening flashback. Analogies and Enlightened!Ron ensue.
Author's Notes: Originally intended to write sugary fluff, but it seemed inappropriate for the prompt's ominous tone--switched to a new point of view (for me) as well. Warnings: regretfully un-beta'd, and even more regretfully unoriginal, I'm afraid. American spellings abound.

( You'd think that she'd have noticed by now... )

Title: Rob and Ginny's Marriage Issues
Rating: PG-13 for randy thoughts
Word count: 2,363
Pairing: malvernrob/Ginny. Yeah, you heard me.
Summary: Rob and Ginny work out their marriage problems.
Warnings: All-around debauchery. OOC-ization of real people. Unimaginative title.
Author's notes: Written as a response to Rob's genius Neville/msmoocow story. I'll put a link here if he ever gets around to posting it on his new journal. ::glares menacingly:: You can read it here. (ETA: This whole story was prompted by a comment that Rob made in his journal. I do not condone any violence in the fandom....except you know if it's Ginny....and she's in the mood for spanking.....oh dear, that's going to come back to haunt me one day.)

( Rob and Ginny's Marriage Issues )

Title: Sparks
Rating: PG
Word count: 2,828
Pairing: Ron/Hermione
Summary: Ron should know better than to trust his twin brothers.  Especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
Warnings: Use of the word "arse".  Tooth-rotting fluff.  Consider yourself warned.
Author's notes: Thank you to queenb23more  and pigwithhair , for without them this story would be a big mess. This was originally written for the rwhgficexchange for vaguelyalive .

 

( Sparks )

 

Title: An Ordinary Man
Rating: G, so very G
Word count: 1,927
Pairing: Neville/his gran. Err, make that Neville [comma] his gran. :D
Summary: Suddenly, a broken wand seems inconsequential compared to other things.
Warnings: Does Butterbeer count as alcohol consumption?
Author's notes: I always thought that we got cheated out of a CAPSLOCK!Neville moment. There are so many parallels to draw between Harry and Neville, and like Harry, Neville needed a cathartic moment to release all the resentment he'd been holding in. Thank you to sowritesauds for the beta! And oh yeah...happy birthday, shiiki!

( An Ordinary Man )

My soul, poured out onto paper for your perusal. Cowritten by michelledotimas.

No revisions needed for art this deep. This is my pain.

( Mama didn't raise no foo' )

This one's a bit experimental. It was inspired partly by a demented rapist story that my friends and I were writing. It's in villanelle form, because I don't care what James Joyce says--villanelles are cool. Dylan Thomas, I apologize for not being as cool as you. I tried, really.

Okay, enough name-dropping. So I'm enormously proud of this poem. The constraints of form and rhyme were really challenging, but I thought I did all right. Also, I owe the wording in a few lines to the lovely Ollau ::waves::, my most literate friend.

Anyway, the working title was "Dude, Your Girlfriend's a Skank-Ho", but it didn't have the same ring as

( Of Vice and Virtue )

Title: And Nothing
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance? Angst? Hell if I know.
Summary: Jack and Jill went up the hill...
Beta: midorichi
Word count: 1,428
Author's notes: Written for my Intro to Creative Writing class. My professor loves melodrama/angst. I'm reasonably satisfied with the results, but plotting it made me remember why I don't do originals too often. Making up people is hard. *pout*

( And Nothing )

Title: Beloved Cartoons Contain Subliminal Messages, Influence Impressionable Children
Rating: PG
Genre: Satire, a feeble attempt at humorous ridicule
Summary: Cartoons are like OMG so bad 4 U! And so is same-sex marriage!
Beta: none
Word count: ~800
Author's notes: In junior year, I had an assignment for my English class to write an article in the style of TheOnion.com. The Postcards from Buster incident actually happened, the rest I fabricated to mock these people. Also, Margaret Spelling is real, along with her quote.

( After an unaired episode of Postcards from Buster was found to contain a lesbian couple... )